Post by couragebagge on Sept 3, 2005 13:33:55 GMT -5
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T*K*O
(Starring: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, That Announcer, and D’Snowth)
Episode #: 11
Title: “The Unkillable Thread”
Original Airdate: 02-Sep-2005
Written by That Announcer
Created by MrsPepper
Guest stars: KermieBaby47, Vibs, Beauregard, Ziffel, theprawncracker, BEAR, Princeton, and G-Man
Special Muppet Guest Appearance By: Beauregard
Vibs stumbled into her office one morning late, the victim of a midnight screening of “Star Wars”. She flicked on her desk lamp, switched on the computer and headed into the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee. That Announcer was waiting at the counter.
THAT ANNOUNCER: Morning, Vibs.
VIBS: Morning, man.
THAT ANNOUNCER: So, was it a party last night?
VIBS: Naw, midnight screening of Star Wars over at the theater. Kept waking up and hearing light sabers.
THAT ANNOUCNER: Right…. Hey, the coffee’s done.
VIBS: Make mine with milk and sugar.
THAT ANNOUNCER: Right.
With that, That Announcer mixed two cups of coffee, one for him, and one for Vibs. He handed her her cup.
VIBS: (Takes the coffee) Thanks. Anyway, got to get to work.
THAT ANNOUNCER: Ditto. Now, where’s that file I had?
With that, the two left the cafeteria and headed back to their offices. Vibs sat down to her desk, drinking her coffee, and logged onto Muppet Central to find some jokes to kill.
VIBS: Well, here goes nothing. (One particular thread catches her eye.) Well, this is interesting in-DEED…
With that, Vibs slipped past D’Snowth, who was busy messing with The Kathy Greenwood Zone, to find MrsPepper, who was calmly reading Al Franken’s latest book.
VIBS: Boss, there’s a real neat thread over in Friends and Family.
MRSPEPPER: How’d you get in here?
VIBS: Uh, the thread, MrsPepper, I think you’d better take a look at it!
MRSPEPPER: (Sighs) Let’s check that out!
She flicks over to her computer and begins to browse the board. Her jaw drops.
VIBS: Yeah, real nice, isn’t he?
On MrsPepper’s computer screen is a post that looks like this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ziffel
Hey thread killers, kill this one! I’ve formed a coalition of members that are determined to make sure there’s one thread you can’t kill. Ha ha!
)
MRSPEPPER: This little pig is challenging us! Let’s get everybody on this as soon as we can. We’ve got to put this guy in his place!
VIBS: Right!
MRSPEPPER: Head to your booth and start working on it. I’ll call D’Snowth to alert everybody else.
VIBS: Hey, I thought I was a joke killer!
MRSPEPPER: You are, but in this case, we need all the help we can get, so get on it!
VIBS: Right!
Vibs left MrsPepper’s, office, as she picked up her phone.
MRSPEPPER: Better call him up now, this is a crack assignment!
MrsPepper dialed D’Snowth’s office. His phone then began to rang, as he quickly logged out of his free webs account.
D’SNOWTH: (Picks up the phone) Yello, Kramerica Industries here.
MRSPEPPER: Now would you stop joking around?
D’SNOWTH: Sorry. What can I do for ya, boss?
MRSPEPPER: There’s a little weasel tormenting us over in Friends and Family. Says he’s got himself a bunch of guys who are determined to make an unkillable thread.
D’SNOWTH: So you want me to alert all the staff to begin working double-time and make sure they kill the thread, and tell them lunch breaks are herewith cut in half until the thread is finished.
MRSPEPPER: You’re good. (Hangs up.)
D’Snowth: (Hangs up as well) Well, better call a staff meeting. (Turns on intercom.) Your attention, please. This is D’Snowth speaking.
Everyone turns and looks at the PA speakers mounted in their offices. MrsPepper switches hers off.
D’SNOWTH: There will be a mandatory staff meeting at 1:00pm today in the conference room. Bring a pencil and notepad. We need ideas. That is all. (He switches off the PA.)
Vic and TA exited their offices.
THAT ANNOUNCER: So, I wonder what this is about?
VIC ROMANO: I dunno, but it better be something good. They’re having beef stroganoff in the cafeteria today!
THAT ANNOUNCER: Who are you, Link Hogthrob?
VIC ROMANO: Hey, shut it!
THAT ANNOUNCER: Whatever…
With that, they went back into their offices.
Commercial Break
Later at 1:00pm sharp that day, everyone assembles in the conference room except for D’Snowth, who is late.
KERMIEBABY47: Where is that little nerd?
That second, D’Snowth entered the conference room just like Kramer from Seinfeld.
D’SNOWTH: Who’s calling me a nerd?
KERMIEBABY47: (Stammering) Um, it was, ah, it, ah, um…
D’SNOWTH: Never mind. (Takes his place at the head of the table.) There’s a little pest who’s created a coalition of MC members who are gonna try to keep a thread over in Friends and Family alive forever.
VIBS: How can you live forever? It’s human nature!
ALL: VIBS!
VIBS: Sorry.
D’SNOWTH: Anyway, we’ve got to kill that thread by any means necessary. You’ve got to work double time until its dead.
VIC ROMANO: Awww, but its beef sandwiches tomorrow!
D’SNOWTH: Shut up.
THAT ANNOUNCER: Yeah, who are you? Link…
Vic then covered TA’s mouth with his hand.
VIC ROMANO: Don’t make the joke. (He removes his hand.)
THAT ANNOUNCER: Sorry.
D’SNOWTH: Now get back to your offices and start killing that thread!
ALL: Right, sir!
They attempt to exit the meeting room all at the same time, causing serious doorway gridlock. They all come out clutching their sides, and eventually reach their offices.
THAT ANNOUNCER: I’m gonna kill that thread first! (He enters his office.)
VIC ROMANO: No, I’m gonna kill that thread first, and I’ll bet cash money on it!
THAT ANNOUNCER: (pokes his head out of his office) You’re on! Thirty?
VIC ROMANO: Done. (He enters his office.)
For the next three days, the workers of the T*K*O 3976 ½ worked diligently at attempting to kill the thread, each using different tactics.
KERMIEBABY47: (To himself) Think I’ll insult them so much that they can’t think of a comeback! Ha!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ziffel
Yeah, I like Cheez-Its too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KermieBaby47
Your mamma likes Cheez-Its so much that when she sits around the house, she sits A-ROUND the house.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ziffel
So? Yours sold out the store!
KERMIEBABY47: Oh, heck.
VIBS: (To herself) Think I’ll attempt to derail the thread and make everyone confused! Ha!
Quote:
Originally Posted by theprawncracker
I know, I watched ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ the other day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vibs
That movie reminds me of the Great Chicago Fire when the house burns down.
Quote:
Originally Posted by theprawncracker
You sicken me. What other movies have you guys watched lately?
VIBS: Better adapt and improve.
VIC ROMANO: (To himself) Think I’ll initiate an argument nobody wants to get involved with, so they’ll all go away! Ha!
Quote:
Originally Posted by BEAR
I know what you mean, strawberry ice cream tastes real bad!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic Romano
What do you mean, strawberry ice cream tastes bad? You’re a fool!
Quote:
Originally Posted by BEAR
I don’t care what you think, bucko.
Vic Romano: Well, that didn’t work, better try something else…
THAT ANNOUNCER: Think I’ll proclaim the reign of the Thread Killers and stupefy them into not posting! Ha!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princeton
I tend to mostly go with no-name Band Aids, they’re a lot cheaper.
Quote:
Originally Posted by That Announcer
I don’t care what you say, the thread killers can and will get this thread down! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princeton
Who cares about the thread killers! Hey Prawnie, when was the last time you had a dinner party?
THAT ANNOUNCER: Jeez, this is hard. (Sighs)
Over the course of five days, the thread remained unkilled, with Ziffel’s evil coalition working their butts off to keep the thread alive. Finally, the workers were exasperated. They gathered in MrsPepper’s office to explain. D’Snowth tagged along to hear them out.
VIBS: Look, boss, these guys are evil! We’ve worked our butts off for the past workweek and the thread’s not dying!
VIC ROMANO: Yeah! What are we supposed to do?
MRSPEPPER: So, you guys find this thread completely unkillable?
THAT ANNOUNCER: Yep, we do indeed.
MRSPEPPER: Well, I guess I’ll have to call in an old friend. (Picks up the phone) Hello, Pepper here. (Beat) Yes, that Pepper. Anyway, I need you to do a job for me. (Beat) No, it won’t be hard. You know where I am, right? Good. When can you be over? (Beat) Yeah, in five minutes, that’d be great. See you then. (She hangs up) Get to your offices. I’m calling in an expert.
Five minutes later, a beat-up Volvo appears in the 3976 ½’s parking lot. It backfires when the driver turns it off. He gets out and uses the back entrance to get to MrsPepper’s office.
MRSPEPPER: (seeing the door open) Ah, come in, old friend.
BEAUREGARD: (Entering) Oh, hello. Now, what is it you’re meaning by ‘unkillable thread’?
MRSPEPPER: Exactly that. I’m gonna need you to post something incredibly stupid on the thread so it’ll die.
BEAUREGARD: I think I can do that, but I’ll need a username!
MRSPEPPER: Already got one set up for you. You’re B-Boy.
BEAUREGARD: I like that name!
He sits down in MrsPepper’s chair and begins to monitor the thread. Finally, he posts something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by G-Man
Yep, it was $5000 they stole. Don’t worry, the cops are gonna catch ‘em red-handed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by B-Boy
What color are their hands now?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ziffel
Oh, boy…
Commercial Break
MRSPEPPER: Well, Beau, you killed that thread awfully fast.
BEAUREGARD: Thanks, but I don’t like to kill things, I’m just a gentle stagehand!
BEAUREGARD: (Pops in door) Talk to me about it. Hey, great to have you, you wanna go for some lunch?
BEAUREGARD: Oh, OK! (He leaves with his namesake.)
THE END
T*K*O
(Starring: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, That Announcer, and D’Snowth)
Episode #: 11
Title: “The Unkillable Thread”
Original Airdate: 02-Sep-2005
Written by That Announcer
Created by MrsPepper
Guest stars: KermieBaby47, Vibs, Beauregard, Ziffel, theprawncracker, BEAR, Princeton, and G-Man
Special Muppet Guest Appearance By: Beauregard
Vibs stumbled into her office one morning late, the victim of a midnight screening of “Star Wars”. She flicked on her desk lamp, switched on the computer and headed into the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee. That Announcer was waiting at the counter.
THAT ANNOUNCER: Morning, Vibs.
VIBS: Morning, man.
THAT ANNOUNCER: So, was it a party last night?
VIBS: Naw, midnight screening of Star Wars over at the theater. Kept waking up and hearing light sabers.
THAT ANNOUCNER: Right…. Hey, the coffee’s done.
VIBS: Make mine with milk and sugar.
THAT ANNOUNCER: Right.
With that, That Announcer mixed two cups of coffee, one for him, and one for Vibs. He handed her her cup.
VIBS: (Takes the coffee) Thanks. Anyway, got to get to work.
THAT ANNOUNCER: Ditto. Now, where’s that file I had?
With that, the two left the cafeteria and headed back to their offices. Vibs sat down to her desk, drinking her coffee, and logged onto Muppet Central to find some jokes to kill.
VIBS: Well, here goes nothing. (One particular thread catches her eye.) Well, this is interesting in-DEED…
With that, Vibs slipped past D’Snowth, who was busy messing with The Kathy Greenwood Zone, to find MrsPepper, who was calmly reading Al Franken’s latest book.
VIBS: Boss, there’s a real neat thread over in Friends and Family.
MRSPEPPER: How’d you get in here?
VIBS: Uh, the thread, MrsPepper, I think you’d better take a look at it!
MRSPEPPER: (Sighs) Let’s check that out!
She flicks over to her computer and begins to browse the board. Her jaw drops.
VIBS: Yeah, real nice, isn’t he?
On MrsPepper’s computer screen is a post that looks like this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ziffel
Hey thread killers, kill this one! I’ve formed a coalition of members that are determined to make sure there’s one thread you can’t kill. Ha ha!
)
MRSPEPPER: This little pig is challenging us! Let’s get everybody on this as soon as we can. We’ve got to put this guy in his place!
VIBS: Right!
MRSPEPPER: Head to your booth and start working on it. I’ll call D’Snowth to alert everybody else.
VIBS: Hey, I thought I was a joke killer!
MRSPEPPER: You are, but in this case, we need all the help we can get, so get on it!
VIBS: Right!
Vibs left MrsPepper’s, office, as she picked up her phone.
MRSPEPPER: Better call him up now, this is a crack assignment!
MrsPepper dialed D’Snowth’s office. His phone then began to rang, as he quickly logged out of his free webs account.
D’SNOWTH: (Picks up the phone) Yello, Kramerica Industries here.
MRSPEPPER: Now would you stop joking around?
D’SNOWTH: Sorry. What can I do for ya, boss?
MRSPEPPER: There’s a little weasel tormenting us over in Friends and Family. Says he’s got himself a bunch of guys who are determined to make an unkillable thread.
D’SNOWTH: So you want me to alert all the staff to begin working double-time and make sure they kill the thread, and tell them lunch breaks are herewith cut in half until the thread is finished.
MRSPEPPER: You’re good. (Hangs up.)
D’Snowth: (Hangs up as well) Well, better call a staff meeting. (Turns on intercom.) Your attention, please. This is D’Snowth speaking.
Everyone turns and looks at the PA speakers mounted in their offices. MrsPepper switches hers off.
D’SNOWTH: There will be a mandatory staff meeting at 1:00pm today in the conference room. Bring a pencil and notepad. We need ideas. That is all. (He switches off the PA.)
Vic and TA exited their offices.
THAT ANNOUNCER: So, I wonder what this is about?
VIC ROMANO: I dunno, but it better be something good. They’re having beef stroganoff in the cafeteria today!
THAT ANNOUNCER: Who are you, Link Hogthrob?
VIC ROMANO: Hey, shut it!
THAT ANNOUNCER: Whatever…
With that, they went back into their offices.
Commercial Break
Later at 1:00pm sharp that day, everyone assembles in the conference room except for D’Snowth, who is late.
KERMIEBABY47: Where is that little nerd?
That second, D’Snowth entered the conference room just like Kramer from Seinfeld.
D’SNOWTH: Who’s calling me a nerd?
KERMIEBABY47: (Stammering) Um, it was, ah, it, ah, um…
D’SNOWTH: Never mind. (Takes his place at the head of the table.) There’s a little pest who’s created a coalition of MC members who are gonna try to keep a thread over in Friends and Family alive forever.
VIBS: How can you live forever? It’s human nature!
ALL: VIBS!
VIBS: Sorry.
D’SNOWTH: Anyway, we’ve got to kill that thread by any means necessary. You’ve got to work double time until its dead.
VIC ROMANO: Awww, but its beef sandwiches tomorrow!
D’SNOWTH: Shut up.
THAT ANNOUNCER: Yeah, who are you? Link…
Vic then covered TA’s mouth with his hand.
VIC ROMANO: Don’t make the joke. (He removes his hand.)
THAT ANNOUNCER: Sorry.
D’SNOWTH: Now get back to your offices and start killing that thread!
ALL: Right, sir!
They attempt to exit the meeting room all at the same time, causing serious doorway gridlock. They all come out clutching their sides, and eventually reach their offices.
THAT ANNOUNCER: I’m gonna kill that thread first! (He enters his office.)
VIC ROMANO: No, I’m gonna kill that thread first, and I’ll bet cash money on it!
THAT ANNOUNCER: (pokes his head out of his office) You’re on! Thirty?
VIC ROMANO: Done. (He enters his office.)
For the next three days, the workers of the T*K*O 3976 ½ worked diligently at attempting to kill the thread, each using different tactics.
KERMIEBABY47: (To himself) Think I’ll insult them so much that they can’t think of a comeback! Ha!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ziffel
Yeah, I like Cheez-Its too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KermieBaby47
Your mamma likes Cheez-Its so much that when she sits around the house, she sits A-ROUND the house.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ziffel
So? Yours sold out the store!
KERMIEBABY47: Oh, heck.
VIBS: (To herself) Think I’ll attempt to derail the thread and make everyone confused! Ha!
Quote:
Originally Posted by theprawncracker
I know, I watched ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ the other day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vibs
That movie reminds me of the Great Chicago Fire when the house burns down.
Quote:
Originally Posted by theprawncracker
You sicken me. What other movies have you guys watched lately?
VIBS: Better adapt and improve.
VIC ROMANO: (To himself) Think I’ll initiate an argument nobody wants to get involved with, so they’ll all go away! Ha!
Quote:
Originally Posted by BEAR
I know what you mean, strawberry ice cream tastes real bad!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic Romano
What do you mean, strawberry ice cream tastes bad? You’re a fool!
Quote:
Originally Posted by BEAR
I don’t care what you think, bucko.
Vic Romano: Well, that didn’t work, better try something else…
THAT ANNOUNCER: Think I’ll proclaim the reign of the Thread Killers and stupefy them into not posting! Ha!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princeton
I tend to mostly go with no-name Band Aids, they’re a lot cheaper.
Quote:
Originally Posted by That Announcer
I don’t care what you say, the thread killers can and will get this thread down! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princeton
Who cares about the thread killers! Hey Prawnie, when was the last time you had a dinner party?
THAT ANNOUNCER: Jeez, this is hard. (Sighs)
Over the course of five days, the thread remained unkilled, with Ziffel’s evil coalition working their butts off to keep the thread alive. Finally, the workers were exasperated. They gathered in MrsPepper’s office to explain. D’Snowth tagged along to hear them out.
VIBS: Look, boss, these guys are evil! We’ve worked our butts off for the past workweek and the thread’s not dying!
VIC ROMANO: Yeah! What are we supposed to do?
MRSPEPPER: So, you guys find this thread completely unkillable?
THAT ANNOUNCER: Yep, we do indeed.
MRSPEPPER: Well, I guess I’ll have to call in an old friend. (Picks up the phone) Hello, Pepper here. (Beat) Yes, that Pepper. Anyway, I need you to do a job for me. (Beat) No, it won’t be hard. You know where I am, right? Good. When can you be over? (Beat) Yeah, in five minutes, that’d be great. See you then. (She hangs up) Get to your offices. I’m calling in an expert.
Five minutes later, a beat-up Volvo appears in the 3976 ½’s parking lot. It backfires when the driver turns it off. He gets out and uses the back entrance to get to MrsPepper’s office.
MRSPEPPER: (seeing the door open) Ah, come in, old friend.
BEAUREGARD: (Entering) Oh, hello. Now, what is it you’re meaning by ‘unkillable thread’?
MRSPEPPER: Exactly that. I’m gonna need you to post something incredibly stupid on the thread so it’ll die.
BEAUREGARD: I think I can do that, but I’ll need a username!
MRSPEPPER: Already got one set up for you. You’re B-Boy.
BEAUREGARD: I like that name!
He sits down in MrsPepper’s chair and begins to monitor the thread. Finally, he posts something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by G-Man
Yep, it was $5000 they stole. Don’t worry, the cops are gonna catch ‘em red-handed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by B-Boy
What color are their hands now?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ziffel
Oh, boy…
Commercial Break
MRSPEPPER: Well, Beau, you killed that thread awfully fast.
BEAUREGARD: Thanks, but I don’t like to kill things, I’m just a gentle stagehand!
BEAUREGARD: (Pops in door) Talk to me about it. Hey, great to have you, you wanna go for some lunch?
BEAUREGARD: Oh, OK! (He leaves with his namesake.)
THE END